Are you Macho or a Metrosexual kinda guy and some eye candy for the ladies.

So this is for the men folk… for all you SNAGS out there (are you still called SNAGS?)  You know –  Sensitive New Age Guys…oh no
wait you are now Metrosexuals aren’t you?  Ah yes has the Macho Neanderthal beer swilling man that us women grew to know and love have now possibly faded into oblivion, to be replaced with one who spends longer in front of the bathroom mirror than what we do.

How many of you men are into facial creams? You know the ones that Mc.Dreamy  (Greys Anatomy) Patrick Dempsey advertises       images-5                 (ok I need a moment)

In fact I can’t for the life of me remember WHAT he advertises as I’m too busy drooling. Where was I? Oh yes,  nowadays as the world progresses (sometimes for the better) you menfolk have much more variety to slap on your faces than the standard 4711  or Brut (hands up who remembers them) but I’m not taking aftershave. I am talking Male Rejuvenating Products.

In fact this should be your regime : facials, moisturizer (morning), moisturizer (evening), face wash (morning), face wash (evening), serum, toner, eye cream, exfoliating scrub, mask.  ‘Ha’ I hear you laugh, I’m a bloke (Aussie for male)  “I don’t need any of that stuff, give me a bar of Imperial Leather and I’ll do just nicely thank you”.

I wish I didn’t put the pic of Patrick up there, I keep scrolling back up.

Seriously though do you use any of the new products on the market? Are you roped in by advertisements and promises of a new and younger looking you?  Or are you embarrassed about using facial products? Do you think in fact they would make a difference? I wish I had the answer. I don’t see the harm in slathering a bit of moisturiser on you skin. I mean you shave – you have bristles, you have skin that is constantly being subjected to shaving cream, brushes, razors, the harsh environment. Your skin does dry out, so I say (if you aren’t already) give it a try. As far as eye creams that firm..hmmm tipping they won’t do much (but don’t let me stop you from trying) also an exfoliating brush to remove dead skin cells (yes sounds revolting, but you have them as much as we do).

I just wonder what Charlie boy who once said “I look like a quarry someone has dynamited”..would have ever muttered the words “Give me some of that exfoliating scrub”.

or would this one have drawled “Come on punk make my day and hand me over the serum”.

or…yes I had to do it…this one saying “I’ll be back – for my moisturiser”.

So there you have it menfolk, the choice is yours. No longer will you have to hide dried out faces, or droopy eye skin or heaven forbid dead skin cells for there are miracles out there in a bottle  (or squeezy pack)  just waiting for you to spend your mega bucks on. I am sure you are relieved to know that now you not only have ‘product’ for your hair but you can ‘zhush’ your face as well.

Let’s face it us women go through childbirth, we slap all sorts of goo on us to try and make us look young again, we shave, we pluck, we laser, we colour our hair, I’m sure if you try really hard you can force your self into that Department Store for a lotion or potion that may in fact make your skin feel as soft as a babies bottom (without losing any of your masculinity).

So what say you my gentlemen readers…are you a slather kinda guy?

and that was my 450th post – thank you linesmen thank you ball-boys

This is for the men – just to show you I care

You poor blokes men,  aren’t you envious? Don’t you wish you could have at your finger-tips the vast magnitude of products that are pushed, brain washed offered to us women?

Don’t you all want that perfect glowing, unwrinkled, unmarked, unblemished skin like the stunners in the glossy magazines?

Or have the photos of these beautiful women just been photo-shopped to death? (the photos not the women).

Come on surely there is a tinsy winsy tinge of jealousy that YOU can’t slather your face with a miracle cream that will make you  achieve the ‘look’ that us females are so wanting to achieve? I’m not talking make-up fellas, I’m talking creams for your face that rejuvenate, lift, plump and give us that outer glow.

I mean look at the amount you can choose from!

Day moisturiser. Yes I use as my skin dehydrates now that I’m…older.

Night moisturiser. Occasionally I use – but couldn’t one just put a double layer of the day moisturiser on?

Vitamin C moisturiser. Particularly good if you want that orange glow.

Pro-Collagen Marine Cream. This is the plumping up one I was talking about, as far as the Marine? Is it made from Marine life? Are we meant to use it whilst swimming? Or if we wear it we will attract one?

Soothing Protective Cream. Oh yes sooth and protect me…erm from what?

Ultimate Youth Cream. Yes men guaranteed to make you look your youthful self again, so be prepared to also purchase  Clearasil.

Chemical Peels. Do you want your face to fall off bit by bit – then try this!

Retinol Cream. Ahh yes Vitamin A enhanced miracle cream of our time for that plump and radiant skin…

Herbal Cream. Ok let’s just go into the kitchen take out a packet of mixed herbs, throw some hot water onto it..let it ‘infuse’ – (you have to say that word slow and sultry like) anyhoo cool down herbal broth and pad on face..cheaper.

Cream for those with black skin. This is obvious coloured skin is different than caucasian skin.

Skin Caviar. Right then everyone who wants some pickled fish roe slapped on their dial hands up??

Avacado, strawberry (and other fruit) Cream. These are harmless, but you may as well just rub the actual fruit on your face.

Repair Balms. Repairing what – what you have lived in for how many years and now like  a car needing a service your face needs repairing?

Hydrating masks. Probably applied 2 masks my entire life..made a difference – nup.

Skin rejuvenation Cream. Rejuvenate – rejuvenate – the world has gone completely rejuvenating mad!

Perfect protection Cream. From what the one who walks in the night, the taxman, the robber, the door to door phone salesman (I wish).

Laser aid. Darth Vader are you there?

Moisture defense for dry skin, aged skin, sensitive skin, oily skin, combination skin. Ok moisturise…any defense is better than none.

Even blend Serum. For those that don’t want uneven blends.

Hypnotherapy Eye Cream. Look into my eyes – oh you are.

Sublimage Cream. A (apparently) chiffon like cream with ‘unparalleled power and precision which targets different areas of the skin simultaneously’. You have to be kidding??  Unparalleled power? The unleashed power of atoms? Pow- Wham- Bang – their is your simultaneous.

Glycolic Scrubs, cleansers. If you can pronounce it properly I guess it would work wonders.

Eye Replenishing Creams. So does that mean I can throw away my glasses?

Firming Cream. The muscle tone of healthy tissue. Therefore if you are not firmed you are not healthy.

Toning Cream. Yes it promises to tone – gives strengths and firmness to the muscles. Nothing beats having a six pack on your face.

Dark spot Cream. Bleach? Grab a bottle of peroxide – same thing.

Anti Wrinkle Cream. Gods gift to women! Yes plaster it on your throat and face and watch those character lines  disappear!

Am I being a tad judgemental? Seriously men – you can do without all of this, be rugged, be swarthy. If you MUST use something, a little moisturiser never goes astray it will do what most of the above will do. When you shave your blade will glide easier. Your face will be shiny and smooth and have that outer glow.

My beauty routine is goats soap and moisturiser – yep you heard it right..non drying goats soap.

I have tried for the last 57 years, well ok I didn’t commence my beauty regime when I first popped out but I have used numerous products that say they will promise the world and give you only an empty pocket. None of these back in my mums day and at 83 her complexion (yes though a little wrinkled) is still beautiful….if you don’t believe me have a peek

So men beauty needn’t cost you a fortune and there is nothing wrong in being a ‘metro sexual’…just let common sense prevail.