Break The Wall (Prose)

December 22, 2013 by ramblingsfromamum

break it down for me

the intricacies
you splinter little parts of me
as wood under my skin

disillusioned
casting reasoning to the wind
talk to me ~repair the damage
the ‘kitchen sink’ once again
dragged up ~ the already resolved

counsellors said a waste of time
don’t walk away, I say sorry
yet
I don’t know why
your words angrily whispered
slicing through
breath exhaled

arms flail in the air
the marionette
stringed by an invisible puppeteer
at least spoken words
give a chance
the silence
only lends itself
to confusion ~ doubt

pacing round the room
tension strung like wire
tears I cry watching you
you don’t realise
you’re ignorant to
my ache

our lives
topsy-turvey
both stressed
day to day
reached a T-intersection
both going different ways

we travelled the same road
once ~ now the fork divided
I’ll fight for you
I’ll fight for us
we can make this work
but break it down for me

so I can cease this hurt

©jmtacken Dec 2013

FICTION!

I wrote this some time back and strangely over the last few days of not being around too much, my enthusiasm has waned a little for writing. Perhaps the pressure of writing the Service and another to do for the 30th December, perhaps the Christmas events …and well life taking precedence.

Thank you for all those who commented on my last post (Leave of Absence) I apologise that I haven’t had time to comment individually to you all – but I think you know how grateful I am for you reading & your comments – so thank you.

I know this isn’t a Christmas Spirit piece and I am sure I will get my mo-jo back soon and I shall be writing a post just before Santa arrives.

Mums

Photo Credit: http://www.pinterest.com

What more do we want in life?

December 19, 2012 by ramblingsfromamum

After a wine or two

Yes I put this as a Category and sometimes I have written after I have imbibed in the ~~demon drink~~ alcoholic beverage.

This evening, yes it is night in my part of the world – its 11.59pm and ‘my bad’ as I have imbibed.

So forgive me with whatever I manage to type and also forgive any typing errors (though I will do a spell check if I can make sense of the red underlined words) and what springs forth from my brain, for I am not writing consciously – from the words of someone we all know – ‘for they know not what they do’..in this case I am the ‘they’. Are you confused yet … I am.

EVERYONE has mentioned in one blog or another that Christmas makes them melancholy, think of their life thus far, think of the future..what could have been ..what is to come, or why this time of year makes us reflect on situations more than before.

How overwhelming are our lives? What do we set out to accomplish? We are born..we live…we die, but sometimes this is questioned because we feel there must be something more? Do we appreciated the lives we have? Are we happy with our mere existence? Should we do more for others than what we perceive is enough?

Let’s face it – none of us want to die. We are happy where we are and to a degree who we are.

BUT do you ever get the ‘there must be something more than this’ thought?

Do we wish to accomplish greater things? Or perhaps we want to leave the world knowing that we have done something spectacular, to be remembered by, to make a difference. Or do we feel like running away?

Is it a matter of I haven’t accomplished a great deal, there are things I need to do, I feel lost, I feel that there has to be more to my life than what I am doing or have done till now.

I think most of my followers are younger than I (or that is the impression I have) and I wonder if they feel as I do now.

I could prattle on till the cows come home (expression) and I wrote this thinking …my life, this is all I have…can I go to my grave knowing that I should have given more..accomplished more. Is that only for self gratification?

As one gets older as I am doing, these thoughts occur to me more and more. I do not know how much time I have, no one knows, our time on this planet is limited, we cannot turn back the clock.

We are simply beings in a Universe that live our lives day to day, whether we accomplish what we want or are gratified by our mere existence is up to us as individuals.

To make a mark, so that others know you existed ..is that what this post is about? As an example – writing posts, shall these be remembered in years to come? I think not. I shall be remembered when I am no longer breathing air as a mother, one who tried her utmost to provide, to console, to advise, to love her children. I shall hopefully be remembered by Mr. S and by my family and friends as someone they could rely upon, who brought them laughter, who could write, who was always there for them.

Surely this should be enough? It’s raining outside, through my window I hear the drops hit the pebbles on the ground, it is late, I am tired and have rambled on enough..Good night to those that have read.

The World Is Ending 21st December, 2012 according to the Mayan Calendar..or so they say

December 15, 2012 by ramblingsfromamum

I couldn’t resist posting this.

For the believers that this will actually occur I am deeply saddened by your inevitable loss.

If you do believe that December 21st is going to go ahead, may I suggest the following.

Stop buying Christmas Gifts.
Don’t bother sending those last minute Christmas Cards.
Don’t bother doing all those odd jobs NOW around the house you have been meaning to do, mending the gate, attaching the water hose connection properly, fixing the blinds in the lounge room, tidying your pantry cupboards, sewing a button on your husbands blue work shirt, painting the outside of the house, cleaning the fish tank, buying new shoe-laces for your runners, putting the dry-cleaning in, putting all those photos in the box into picture frames, buying that new phone, planning your holiday, having your regular eye-test, having your regular Pap test, washing the car, fixing the puncture on the bike tyre, having a mammogram, having a colonoscopy (phew), writing your eulogy or learning another language, because no one will be around to here either.
Don’t bother mowing the lawns as know one will see it.
Don’t bother switching of all electrical appliances as it won’t make a difference.
Don’t bother asking your neighbour to collect your mail.
Don’t bother finding a kennel or cattery to have your pets minded.
Don’t bother inviting friends over for dinner on the 21st as it will all end in disaster.
Don’t bother trying to lose weight before Christmas.
Don’t bother giving up smoking.
Don’t bother giving up drinking.
Don’t bother trying to be nice to your neighbours.

JUST DON’T BOTHER

and if you are a non believer…

Yes you still have to do all the above mentioned chores (sorry but you do).
Yes you still will have the bills coming in that need paying.
Yes you will still have to make the commute to work and furthermore, work when you get there.
Yes you will still have to make the kids lunches and they will still not eat them.
Yes you will still have to give advice to your offspring who won’t heed your wisdom.
Yes you will get to the 21st and wonder ok ..when the hell is this happening? Anyone given a time frame? Have I still got time to do stuff?
Yes you still have to do last minute frenzied shop with the hoards of stressed out, last minute shoppers and finding a car park.
Yes you still have to smile and be sweet to all the rellies on Christmas Day.
Yes you still will have loads of washing up and tidying up after the event.
Yes you will possibly have a hangover.
Yes you will think “What a load of Cods”.