Update on Pop and Mum

Pop and I made the decision to put his beloved car (a Toyota Camry 2005) up for sale. I placed the photo and description on the web car site Monday night. Yesterday (Friday) it was sold, to a lovely lady who had unfortunately written off her previous Camry the morning prior in an accident.

She came along with her father to test drive the car, pop was standing in the driveway balancing with his walking stick. Though his walking has marginally improved, he is still very shaky and cannot turn around as he once did. Now he ‘side shuffles’ to ‘do a u-turn. The lady and her father got in the car and I asked pop to move out the way so they could back it out of the driveway. Pop remained standing where he was, it seems as if he has lost his ‘awareness’.

Normally he would have automatically moved, knowing that the car wheels would possibly run over his feet but he didn’t move until I held his arm and guided him out of the way. It is a very sad thing for him to give up driving and sell his car, but he knows it’s the responsible thing to do. Mum however won’t let it rest, she is adamant she will not get a motorised scooter and says that ‘This is my lot now to be stuck inside the house every day’.

I am trying to persuade her to get one too, so that they can at least get out of the house when the weather is nice and have some independence. It’s a battle with mum, pop at this juncture is fine with getting one. The battle no doubt will continue.

We are going out for lunch tomorrow with them and some family members and their friends, so today was also time to give pop another pedicure and a shave. Bless him, because he has a bit of a double chin, when he does shave he doesn’t get into the ‘folds and crevices’. So out with the new fancy wet or dry electric shaver was I. I then made him walk with his walker twice to the front door and back.  Yes, I’m a hard task manager, but if I don’t remind him to get up and exercise he lets it slide. He has attended one physio session and has to for a further 10 weeks (once a week) to try and get his core strengthened (good luck with that physiotherapists). He also has to move every hour on the hour and drink more water!

Mum’s memory is progressively growing worse and she loses her temper with me very easily and often! She will salute me now and say “Yes Sir” or “You love to boss me around now” and there is anger in her voice. It’s so difficult not to get upset with her when she puts her stubborn shoes on, but I have to try and remember she doesn’t know that she has asked me the same question 3 times in 30 minutes, or that we have had a conversation about a particular subject several times over.

It is hard for me not to sound patronising, I realise I don’t talk to pop in the same way as I talk to mum and it’s simply the frustration on my part trying to get her to see reason, when clearly it is difficult for her to do so. Whereas I They are no longer the sprightly and comprehending parents that I once knew, not all that long ago, now I see that the ageing process has taken over and is in control.

So that was my Saturday afternoon. I shall continue to post  about my two ‘darlings’ to those who are willing to read.

I shall tend to your feet Pop

The other week-end I gave my Pop (dad) a pedicure. At almost 86, he has trouble bending down to tend to his feet.

I slowly removed his sandals and sat beside him on a small stool. He was worried that I would hurt my back by sitting this way….

Yours nails I cut carefully
and removed old skin
then massaged cream gently
along each of your feet

You thanked me for what you called a
‘laborious task’, to me it gave
me joy
to help see to the feet of my
father who was once a
little boy

As I massaged the cream
into your skin
I thought of where
your feet had been

These feet that were bare and told to stand in snow in a European Winter.
These feet that walked to the timber pile to chop wood for your step – father, the fire you were not allowed to be warmed by.

These feet that had to walk up the staircase where you were told to eat your meal, alone,  whilst the rest of the family ate downstairs in comfort at the table.

These feet that gave you the strength to escape from Czechoslavakia during the War, to cross mountains, hide on trains, trudge through forests, swim through rivers and nearly have your life ended twice by a gun held at you by the KGB.

These feet that brought you to Australia, to start a new life, to build a house for a family that you knew you would one day have, though you had no carpentry skills.

These feet that ran and played shuttlecock with us, the times that we went camping.

These feet that walked next to me on the day that I was wed.

These feet now older
that hold your struggling
legs and body
these feet are not a ‘laborious chore’
to me, my father

These feet have travelled many miles
through great adversity
saw you start a business
accomplish many things
I shall tend to your feet

as I love you
I shall tend again, again
and again

Pop

Below are two other posts, that I wrote last year about this amazing man I know as Pop, please click if you would like to read. https://ramblingsfromamum.wordpress.com/2012/10/07/pop-my-dad-i-love-you/

https://ramblingsfromamum.wordpress.com/2012/09/13/my-dad-affectionately-pop/ ‎