Time to feel

I do not sit in the house of God
amidst stained glass windows absorbing sun
or hear the sound of choir voices

I’m unaware of steps I tred
The distance of my thoughts, for they
are miles apart yet small
I ask is there a meaning
behind what life confronts me
I stare at the moon, the mother
She glows in darkness, her babies
held in the distance, close enough
for her to see, but not touch

Cries to the Universe
what lessons must I learn
this path I walk so precariously
how long is my journey, grab me
take me to your stars, so that I do not fade
into the darkness of the day

There is no reply

My breath exhales like cigarette
smoke, I listen to utter silence
needing strength as the world breathes
watch mother moon and baby stars
that seem close enough to touch
but remain so out of reach

©JMTacken 12.6.14

Saying Goodbye (Prose)

I am cold, death, silently tapped at my door
your weighted tears drop heavily on my cheeks
my parched lips tried to speak
tried to say ~ don’t cry

I wanted to ~ you know that ~ don’t you?

crazy things swept through my head
I didn’t get to tell you my favourite flower
or the song that meant the world to me
or the poem for my Eulogy

why didn’t I say these things before?

would you have written them down
or thought it silly ~ we were too young
to lock these ‘things’ to memory
important now ~ yet not before

but ~ does it really matter?

today I say goodbye
flowers on my coffin, cremating me with
reverence, I pray I’m not forgotten
my girls are crying ~ be strong

can’t you hear my voice?

one more chance to say how I’ll miss you
death ~ life’s circle coming to an end
conceived, live and die, we cannot pretend
we are immune, my time came to soon

the universe made the call

but, in a way I’m ok with that ~ does that sound
stupid to say those words, it’s you I’ve left
behind to grieve, I watch you in the front row
the crumpled tissues that you use

will you grab each other’s hand?

I listen as you struggle with
words you read out loud ~ be brave
a minute or two and it will pass
I’m with you still, I’m here ~ I am

I’ll try and stop your pain ~ I will

as I lay on satin, in darkness
no longer cold, today my body lies here
but not accompanied by my soul
for that has lifted into clouds

can you spread my ashes far and wide to the ocean that I love?

I’m smiling ~ you can’t see me
the ocean at sunset, my last plea
be happy, my love ~ my girls
I am near you ~ I will never leave

©jmtacken Oct 15 2013

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Apologies for any birds ‘singing’ in the background outside my window.