Well at least Mr. S
I have TRIED to convince my
significant other better half partner in life to do a blog as he really is quite hilarious mildly funny, but alas he says that’s my domain 😦 pfft each to his own I guess.
He tends to rant as rave as much as I do – possibly that is why we
put up with each other are so connected and today whilst driving to his folks house, I jotted down a few of his little rants.
Please keep in mind we are talking about driving in Christmas manic traffic on the way…
Me – “Since you have a 4WD (SUV) why don’t you put those Reindeer Antlers on – be all Christmassy like”?
Mr. S – “Then you have to stick a red nose on the front as well, how many reindeer to you see lining up to copulate with an SUV..clearly it’s not attractive to them”.
Traffic – Mr. S – “Moron **f… moron, oh for *bleeps* sake, neanderthals”.
Still angry that his new SUV is clearly 5kms (3.1 miles) under the speed limit actually driving.
Mr. S – “This speedometer is definitely 5ks under”.
Me – “Well that’s obviously how they are making the new cars now so you aren’t tempted to speed or go over”.
Mr. S – *Bleep Bleep* – Yeah but then we have to take off another 5 (in Australia by the way the advertising is take off 5 and stay alive) “So with this then you take off your *bleep* 5 which then makes you 10 under, then some other bugga drives up your bum because you’re going to slow & it’s a *bleep* hazard”.
Listening to a CD of Creedence Clearwater (yes we are old)
Me – “Oooh what’s this one”? (trying to guess when the music starts) “Heard it through the Grapevine”?
Song starts playing it’s Run through the Jungle.
Mr. S “Well it could have been Run through the Grapevine or heard it through the Jungle”.
Me – “I give up”. (exasperated expression on face).
Mr. S – “Songs have feelings you know – if you keep saying you didn’t like a song they wouldn’t have a choice but to drop off the charts and they could injure themselves”.
Me – Fingers in ears “Laa Laa Laa”.
Next thing is he points to the left – “There’s our new home honey”.
I turn it’s a Caravan yard.
Ahh such a
twit, I mean wit.
Apparently you can get your star sign now in a number plate (registration plate for your car).
We pulled up behind one.
Me – “Look it’s mine” I said smiling.
Mr. S – Reads the words out loud – Cancer – Loving, Adventurous, Calm”. Voice now raised slightly “CALM WTF – obviously purchased from the Reject Shop” whilst grabbing my thigh and laughing his head off.
Soooo funny Mr. S …… 😉
and that Ladies & Gentleman was my driving experience for today and my 150th Post.