Turn off the lights just for a while

Metal drops
Click click keyboard
Three thirty AM
Change of shift
Chairs scraping
Phone rings
People yelling
Some vomiting
Voices loud
Medical terminology
Ct scan
Feet shuffling
Feet noise
Curtains paper blowing
Blankets covering

At 3:30am this is what I hear.
This afternoon at 11:30 I was driving to pick up K, to take her to the doctors. 11:45 I received a phone call from J, saying I don’t want to worry you but K is having another seizure. I hear a scream in the background.
I drove as quickly as I could, she was lying on the bed disorientated, sitting on the outside step, she started vomiting. I drove her to the doctors 20 minutes away, she vomited a further 6 times.

The doctor said as her breathing was rapid, to take her to the hospital. We enter emergency, get registered, then into a cubicle to wait to see the doctor. J and I sitting on the bed and chair talking to her, K getting fidgety. Then her words, something’s happening, get the nurse, her face was then expressionless, her eyes wide. Within seconds she was having her 2nd seizure for the day.

This time I witnessed it. The beginnings of it, before they closed the curtains and 6-7 nurses were in the room, with 2 doctors. Before the curtains closed, I saw her mouth drop on an angle, her chin stick out, her eyes wide, staring. Her arms flung out rigid and her legs. The last thing I saw was blood trickling down her chin, from when she bit her tongue.

Can I begin to tell you what this felt like? Watching my baby convulse, screaming, frightened, being held down. Then to watch after it has ceased, her body glistening in sweat, her skin glowing red, an oxygen mask on her face as she wasn’t breathing well.

The most frightening thing, I, as her mum has ever seen.
They say it only lasted 40 seconds, to me it was 40 years.

She closed her eyes 35 minutes ago. I have 3 chairs lined up and a towel for a pillow, as we wait for the neurology doctor to come and tell me what I know. She is staying in overnight as we are almost at daylight now. We arrived at 3pm.

My baby sleeps, she rests from the anxiety, the experiences that she has suffered today. I suffer with her and I only can hope that once she starts medication she will have no more.

Day after – chat time

K slept well, waking this morning she still felt tired and napped throughout the day.

She realised that she had bitten her tongue and now was talking with a slight lisp, this will heal.

She still does not remember the majority of what happened, but she did recognise changes as a result of her new medication (that she started last Monday). Last night when she was wanting to go home, she felt more relaxed and was able to handle the situation more calmly…taking it in her stride.

I’m tired tonight as I write, so forgive me for not answering everyone’s kind comments individually from the post last night.

I have read them all and I am so grateful for all of your support and caring, for not only K but for me also.

Thank you everyone – you are all appreciated.


Days change – Chat time

It’s 12:40am Monday morning.
This afternoon we had Mr.S’s kids and grandchildren over for a Christmas BBQ.
All was well till I received a phone call from J, K’s boyfriend, telling me that she was in
hospital and had had a seizure.

Thankfully I hadn’t consumed much alcohol, I drove the hour to the hospital, shaking and
wondering why, how?

When I arrived she was still in emergency, looking pale and very drowsy, hooked up to a saline drip.
J then told me what happened.

They called into see the penguins, as they pulled into the driveway, K looked at J rather strangely, then her body went rigid and her foot was still on the accelator, J had to pull her leg away, as the car was still going. Her eyes rolled back and she started ‘frothing’ and convulsing. This went on for some time. He raced from the car and started banging loudly on the door and screaming for help.
Mum and pop penguin ..finally came to the door, thinking it was kids playing a prank.

Just prior to the seizure, K said she felt like she was having a de ja vu type experience, which she also had the day before, this was possibly a warning sign.

J managed to get her out of the car, the ambulance was called. K was vomiting and vomited several times in the ambulance to the hospital.
Blood and urine samples taken, they were okay, but she showed low kidney function.
She then went for a CT scan, this came back clear, thankfully.

We stayed with her having two saline bags to get through and obtain the results till 11:15pm.

She told me she thought she was going to die, that she had never felt so scared. Her pulse was 140 when admitted and her BP 85/64 ..very low. She was hyperventilating in the ambulance.
She will now have an MRI scan done during the week and wait to see a Neurologist to see what or how this was caused.

The nurse did say it can happen due to great stress…

I massaged her head as she lay there, I felt hopeless as we all do, in times like this.
K has started taking medication for her BPD, so I queried the nurse and doctor if this could have caused it, they said no.

To see your ‘baby’ no matter what age they may be, frightened, is heartbreaking.
Because her body went so rigid, she now has thrown her back out too.

She is now home, I drove back in the silence of the summer night, window down, thinking how fragile life really is. How a day can change in an instant, but I thank the universe that she is still with us and hope that this is the first and last seizure she has.