It’s Chat Time

Which means I haven’t got a piece of poetry in me.
It’s been a hectic last couple of weeks, just wanted to let you know that Mumma Penguin finally went home last Monday. She has regular careers from the Council visiting almost every day for a month to help and organise her, which in turn will also help Pop. He is so happy she is home again and she is thrilled, though she has her stubborn pants on about doing her exercises!

Pop realised the other day that his memory is sadly going now too, imagine my surprise when I phoned them the other day and he was doing a crossword puzzle, out of the senior Citizens magazine they get, the first he has ever done in his 86 years ( mind you I was on the phone for one and a half hours) as he kept saying now 16 down is…. 😀 but I’m happy he is trying and even Mumma P was joining in…miracles! I am going to buy him a book of easy ones so he (they) don’t give up!

I have been busy with services funerals, conducting two last week and three next week. I cried at Thursday’s one, as I was reading the committal, the wife of the deceased a beautiful petite lady called out a few times (which made people laugh) during the service as I read, then she said “goodbye my darling” and I couldn’t hold it together for a while. It’s normal, every now and then it happens, it gets to me. I’m human, which is a good thing ☺️

Mr.S had his operation, he now is hobbling on crutches and plaster, I picked him up from Hospital this morning and he has slept most of the day.

K is trying to get into modelling. goth style mostly, this has been keeping her busy of late, below are a few of her recent photos taken…now all she needs is someone to discover her. Yes I know I’m being brazen,  forgive me, but if you don’t ask or put it out there…..

My 900th post, who would have thought.

Chat time

Firstly I want to thank everyone for their lovely comments on the 2 pieces I wrote yesterday.

I am out of poetry right this minute (that may well change within the next few though) so it’s chat time.
I conducted my 8th Service this afternoon, a beautiful family and the smallest gathering I have spoken to so far, 20 people.

After my rather stressful afternoon yesterday, I woke up grumpy, tired and on edge. Unfortunately the job that I do, requires complete focus on the family and their feelings, so game face was required.

As I walked up to present to the deceased, my breathing was shallow, trying to slow down, then to the lectern, where my book was set up ready to read.

In the first few minutes, as with the other Services, I seem to rush a little in the beginning, then find my pace. The complete service went for 45 minutes, normally they are an hour, so 15 minutes may not sound like a lot, but to me it makes such a difference in the reading.

There were no photographs set on the catafalque, only flowers.
The family had a viewing first, where they popped in photos of the family for her journey. I walked over and put my hand on her shoulder and hoped I’d do her proud.

They didn’t have a photo DVD, just her favourite song, Close to you by the Carpenters, which I asked if anyone wanted to sing along, to do so. Some did and it was lovely.

The husband came up and hugged me again as he did when I arrived, the three sons said it was beautiful as did two others, so I was happy that I could forget my inner troubles and focus on what was required.

Now I contemplate a new path by looking to online study to become a Marriage Celebrant as well. The course can take up to 7 months as there are many legal requirements. My decision is needed by tomorrow morning. I just hope if I tackle this, that I am able to conduct weddings as soon as possible otherwise I’ll be the only M.C hobbling in on a walker.

Leave of Absence Post

From someone who was bored yesterday – to someone who now has a Funeral Service to conduct on Monday 23rd and Tuesday 24th of December. I am in a tail spin with writing.

Actually disregard the 23rd Service – that has just been cancelled as they located another Celebrant 😦

As much as I would love to read and comment on your posts – I cannot and I feel guilty 😦 so I am writing for everyone’s forgiveness and to advise all that I follow that I can’t keep up at the moment, until the Services are written.

I know you will understand – but I have kept up with all of you constantly to date and this is still my intention to do so, just right now…… it’s not possible.

So my apologies for not being able to visit and comment on what you have written – truly.  😦

Mums
xx

My 1st Service …..

Can I sing Hallelujah!

The day as told by Mumsy –

1. Woke up early, ‘faffed’ about, with a lot of pacing. Changed part of the Eulogy, as was thinking about it in bed last night, that I had to move a paragraph or two.
2. Got daughter to move said paragraphs and reprint. Had cig.
3. Swallowed more health food tablet relaxers – meant to have 4 a day I had 5 in the morning…wasn’t taking any chances.
4. Showered, dressed, pinned my name badge on my jacket. Respectfully dressed in black linen pants, black suit jacket , black shoes and a mustard colour top underneath (sounds terrible but it’s okay~trust me).
5. Paced, breathed, inhaled, exhaled making noises.
6. Had another cig (mybad I know) more pacing.
7. Time had come to leave – wanted to ‘call in’ – sick.
8. Packed briefcase and drove away, all the time self mantra’s of –  I can do this – I will be excellent. I will not fail, going through my head.
9. Arrived and finally found a car spot – arrived an hour early.
10. Walked up to  group of people and as they saw my badge – realised who I was.
11. Daughter in law and son came up to me and a kiss on the cheek (don’t know if that’s normal for a Celebrant) but we had talked over the phone quite a bit and it seemed natural.
12. I went inside and paced and went to the loo twice, then paced some more. Doing the A E I O U exercises (quietly).
13. The ‘gathering room’ overlooked a lake so I stood at the window..more ‘mantra-ing’.
14. The FD Assistant Robyn arrived – introductions. I asked her about presenting to the coffin and where do I stand at the end, she said I could do what I felt was right and told me to breathe (I must have looked as if I wasn’t at that stage) and she assured me I would be fine…..uh huh…sure…
15. TIME
16. I walked up and looked at the woman lying in the coffin, the woman who I had never known, that I wrote about and said this is for you Josie.
17. The family came in for the viewing.
18. The rest came in and sat down.
19. Robyn and I walked between the seats, manoeuvring around 2 pushers that 2 young mums left in the way….
20. Presented and I walked to the Lectern.
21. Started (am I too close to the microphone…too far??)
22. Made a couple of furfies with some words 2 – possibly 3 times throughout. Never try to say ‘Joke Telling Tradition’ as it ends up Joke Trelling tradition – I corrected and moved on.
23. Introduced the granddaughter, she said a poem and recited a memory. though a few tears, she did well.
24. My real boo-boo was –  my cup of water was on her right hand side and I was standing on her left and as she was reading I reached behind her and grabbed the cup, realising well that will look good in the recording…damn it!
25. There were a few laughs and also tears, a combination which was accepted.
26. Finished and Wind Beneath My Wings was the closing song. It started and half way through I went and stood facing the coffin at the front. Then I bowed my head in respect, until the curtain closed.
27. I then turned to face the Assembly, reassuring smiles and small nods of “It’s ok”.
28. Robyn was behind them all,  facing me…….. she gave me a thumbs up!! I couldn’t believe it.
29. Then she walked up and stood by me, announcing that the ceremony had finished and for them to go into the adjoining tea rooms.
30. Everyone started filing out, one elderly gentleman (I don’t know if a relative or friend) hung back and whilst Robyn was standing next to me (remember she was judging my performance)  came up to me took my hand and said “That was really beautiful”.   Do you know how I felt then? I was smiling inside and out and graciously thanked him.
31. I was invited back for a coffee with the family and stood rather awkwardly, wanting to leave them alone. One lady came up and said that I was wonderful.  Another said you have such a beautiful speaking voice, I have heard some celebrants and they sound like fish wives, you did a beautiful job thank you. Then another said the same.
32. Robyn then came up to me as I was leaving and said  “You know I did have my doubts, with this being your first service, but you did a really wonderful job and I will be recommending you!”

So my friends – I did it, I got through and as I sit and write, I’m pretty pleased with how I did, though I think the adrenalin is still cursing through my veins as I have more butterflies now than this morning.

I want to thank  ALL OF YOU for your encouragement, your support and your kindness and really your comments HELPED ME GET THROUGH THIS.  So ….thank you from my ‘beaty thing’.

Mumsy

xxx

one DVD down

Hello everyone,

Approximately 7 hours ago I wrote a post wherein I told you that I was conducting my first (albeit with friends) mock interview for the funeral celebrants course.

The two ladies arrived at 4pm, after a brief run through, we began. IPad in hand I was recorded from the moment the front door was opened and I walked in, giving my condolences and pointing out a good (pre-planned place to sit). I was shaking so at first, and the initial questions could have been a little more slowed. Also my comment of "As I said, I am sorry for your loss", which sounded so superficial, I can only blame my nerves.

The girls basically bounced off one another for their answers (they were 'sisters') who had lost their mum. Apart from the fact that their dearly departed mum was either a hippie of the 70's and never grew out of it. Mother Teresa or the best thing since sliced bread…..to the point I had to refrain from yelling 'NO MORE' as I was about to burst out laughing and grab a bucket. I let it go, and we all went to the flow, they answered the questions and got into a rhythm. We stopped for a cuppa and they said they almost felt as if it were real and that I had drawn them in. Now of course they are darling friends so they may just be boosting my confidence with this, but I did feel more confident as we went on.

Two and a half hours later we were done, much longer than what I anticipated.

We reached the end, we did it..we played it back and though it was serious affair with some smiles and a bit of laughter and the cups of tea shared, the three of us have never laughed so much, listening to the answers, as they had to ad lib (which they did excellently I may add) trying to conjure up a 'pretend' mother figure and have full knowledge about this person between them with very little prior discussion. They did well - we did well. I did it *SIGH OF RELIEF*. So now I sit back with a well earned glass of wine and a little less butterflies floating around till the next one comes along.

Now tomorrow's homework is to assemble it and then write a Eulogy from my notes. That will be the 1st DVD down.

Hallelujah!