Between you and me

Me: Here’s the thing, I have been on a poetic journey of late.

You: That’s just erm wonderful rambly (or whatever the heck your name is now)

Me: Yes today alone I think I did 4 or 5 and couldn’t stop, well I did at one point as I went out for dinner with Mr. S and 3 others.

You: (Yawning) can you get on with it.

Me: So I’m really sorry if I inundated your in-box.

You: No matter, I just deleted every email that sprung up with ramblingsfromamum.

Me: Anywhoo, I write what makes me happy and poetry was the calling for today it seemed.

You: Yup, get that too and?

Me: So now I want to quickly tell you about my night at the Restaurant.

You: Could I be so lucky..?

Me: I went to a Teppanyaki Restaurant, which I have never experienced before.

You: Yay could you make this anymore interesting? I’m late for my appointment to get my toe nails cut.

Me: It was fascinating to watch, they cooked in front of us, they actually threw food, not all of it, which we had to catch in our mouths.

You: Terrific the image of you with food slopped on your cheek is an image I could only dream of.

Me: We also had to hold bowls and catch more empty bowls by the Chef.

You: This just keeps getting better..

Me: Then we had to catch a bowl full of fried rice in the bowls we already held.

You: I can hardly contain my excitement.

Me: There was one part I hated, the couple alongside us, who we didn’t know ordered live lobster. They had just ..well cut it in half and put it on the hot plate..and it kept moving..for a while..

You: I feel your pain (no actually I feel more for the lobster).

Me: I couldn’t look at him I held a napkin over my face.

You: The lobster was probably wishing he could have done the same thing.

Me: Moving right along then, I see you are losing your patience.

You: No shit Sherlock.

Me: This couple we found out (who had ordered the lobster) had been together 3 years and had come from previous marriages he with 10 kids and she with 4. 14 children can you believe that?

You: You’re tellin’ the story.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Challenge # 2 From I need Help – Guess who’s coming for dinner.

This one kindly requested from ruleofstupid  an interesting and talented human being.

At your perfect dinner party, who are your guests and why (anyone from any time in history)

I have embellished on the theme somewhat..

Here it goes…

“Dinner is served in the dining room please, if you’ll come this way”. “I have put name cards of where you are sitting”.

“Just as we should cultivate more gentle and peaceful relations with our fellow human beings, we should also extend that same kind of attitude towards the natural environment.  Morally speaking, we should be concerned for our whole environment”.

So Dalai what your trying to tell me is I shouldn’t have used cardboard..from paper..and shouldn’t have cut down the tree?

“I’m late. I’m late. For a very important date. No time to say “Hello, Goodbye”.  I’m late, I’m late, I’m late.”

“No you aren’t late at all, now would you PLEASE take your seat and stop jumping on the table”.

“I did the Ed Sullivan show four times. I did the Steve Allen show. I did the Jackie Gleason show”.

“That’s really cool King, however the dinner will get cold if we don’t start”.

“There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.”

“Right then Blanche I’ll get that immediately then shall I, or shall a serve you up a dead parakeet under glass instead!?”

“People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.”

“Tickets on yourself Jerry?”

“Charles dear, use the Royal Flight; they keep one plane on permanent standby, in case I should kick the bucket.”

“What??? You haven’t even touched your food yet!”

“If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.”

“No shit Sherlock – I mean Einstien, how about you shutting it and eat?!”

“My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people don’t know”.

“Yep- we got it, he’s Einstein – your Sherlock what you don’t know is that you’ll get a clip in the ear if you don’t start eating”!

“It is not these well-fed long-haired men that I fear, but the pale and the hungry-looking”.

“Give me strength they wouldn’t be hungry looking Julias if they would start eating!”

“When you don’t have any money, the problem is food. When you have money, it’s sex. When you have both, it’s health. If everything is simply jake, then you’re frightened of death”.

“I am starting to lose it here people – there IS food there – in front of you –  and why Marilyn are you bringing up sex?!”

“Ho-Ho-Ho”

“That’s not nice Santa now eat”.

”Some hae meat and canna eat, And some wad eat that want it; But we hae meat, and we can eat, And sae the Lord be thanket.”

“What the… ok I’m sure Burnsy wasn’t on my invitation list and if you will kindly notice there IS MEAT!”

“He was a man of an unbounded stomach”.

“How can you say that Henry when he has’ne even touched his food!”

“Young people in particular, I appeal to you: bear witness to your faith through the digital world!….Employ these new technologies to make the Gospel known, so that the Good News of God’s infinite love for all people, will resound in new ways across our increasingly technological world!”

“Ok who the hell is sending text messages at the dinner table, you’ve set Benedict off again”.

“I feast on wine and bread, and feasts they are”.

“Michael …sweety… I have provided MORE than wine and bread here”.

The End….

Perhaps the next one will be more serious….