To give this true substance I am drawing on the odd 1 or 2 camping expeditions from many…many years ago…
zzzzzzzz No I’m not sleeping
“Great”! Pesty little vampires with wings about to attack me now. I wave my hand madly thinking that will distract them. “Go find someone else to bite”. No, clearly not listening, one lands in my ear and the sound escalates to ZZZZZZZZZZZ!
“Shush” said one of the parentals.
Yes, when we had our camping ‘holidays’ (and I say that term rather loosely) we the 5 of us were in one tent, a big tent mind, but still a TENT.
“Mosquitoes” I reply grumbling & grizzling.
“Well get up quietly and get some spray”.
“It’s cold I’m not getting out of the covers”.
zzzzzzz here they come again, like kamikaze pilots on their mission, now if you can believe the myth that they go for quality blood, then I have bucket loads as I am always the one to look like I’ve been struck down with chicken pox overnight. ZZZZZZZZZZ
“Good grief” head under the covers.
“It’s cold” I continue to grizzle (yes I really am fun to take away camping).
“Rain?” You have to be kidding, it’s raining now.
This tent didn’t have the fancy built in floor liners as they do now, we threw a couple of tarpaulins down as best we could when pitching the tent in the dead of night usually.
“Now the ground will get wet”.
“No it won’t shush and go to sleep”, the other parental.
The night seems longer than a usual night, I’m uncomfortable lying on a blow up mattress that has as much air in as a packet of chips. I toss, I turn, I swat , I’m cold, I wait for the morning.
“Morning!” both parentals and brothers echo.
“Do I really have to walk 1/2 mile to get to the toilet & showers?”
We (I) stagger out to the daylight, eyes squinting, at least the sun is out.
We sit on logs and the parentals organise breakfast, yes bacon and eggs on a campfire (gas burner) tastes so much better in the outdoors.
Shuttlecock time after breakfast – one of the games we played a lot when we were younger. Whack hit, catch, retrieve, whack.
Time moves on….
Camping when I was in my late teens.
Still the vampires, still the uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, still the dirty, dusty ground inside and outside the tent.
This time though it’s a campfire for breakfast, it smells good in the open air. There are cups of warm tea and even with sore backs we (I) can manage to smile and laugh and chill. The walk to the toilet & showers didn’t phase me as it did when I was younger and I put up with enjoy the camaraderie of others.
I’ll camp now – but my version of camping is to stay in a cabin fully equipped – nice beds – toilet – shower – couch – table to eat at – kitchenette – microwave – TV – radio.
NOT because I am spoilt and want the grand luxuries – but because I’m older and I don’t need to have a sore back, I need a toilet within seconds (if you get what I’m saying here). If it’s miserable outside I want to curl up with a good book, or listen to music or watch the idiot box. I want to shower where I don’t have to wear thongs (flip-flops) on my feet for fear of catching tinea. A table to eat at instead of juggling a plate on my knee.
So there you have my “Why I don’t like Camping” tale..I can DO camping just my style 😉
Today as I opened my sleepy eyes & thought its best I get ready for my day, I lay for a second or two longer and thought…same old routine… Which led me to think a little more…does everyone stick to the same routine day in & day out? I realise those with young children would have a different regime than I but it wouldn’t it be nice to do something just a little different?
Alarm by way of my mobile rings out its glorious wake up tune next to me (though some mornings I need a 21 gun salute to do the job)
Me ‘Ugh’ time to get up (do I really have too? Just another 5 minutes my inner self tells me).
Press off stupid, annoying, inconsiderate alarm (look at time & realise I don’t have just another 5 minutes).
Feet onto floor, slippers on and grab dressing gown (yes the mornings are still cold over here).
Open draw to retrieve knickers and bra (wouldn’t it be nice not to have to bother occasionally?)
Stagger with eyes half open to the en-suite and turn the heater on (I don’t like the cold).
Still staggering into the family room & put main heater for the house on (Damn didn’t put the timer on).
Toilet time (ok so no need for details here).
Open shower door, turn on taps, wait…wait..dressing gown off, singlet and knickers off, slippers kicked off (Not the time to look in the mirror).
Weigh myself (Scary but necessary ..it’s a ritual I do every morning..tells me if I can or cannot eat for the day).
Step into shower..damn it’s hair wash day again ( yep every 2nd day it’s the wash).
Shower shampoo, conditioner (shave any necessary bits that have been left purposefully unattended due to the weather being cold and I’m pretty much covered up any-ways).
Grab specific hair drying towel and wrap head in turban. Grab body towel – larger & commence the onerous process of drying every nook & cranny (believe me it is a process).
Out of shower, bra and knickers (yes clean) are donned & back goes the dressing gown for warmth (I really do not like the cold).
Stares at the face looking back at me in the mirror (not a pretty sight) .
Cleans and flosses teeth (fresh mouth starts to wake me up).
Grabs make-up bag to start the arduous task at hand of applying the face (seems to be getting a longer process with every year).
Concealer, foundation, eye liner, mascara, lipstick (looking more human now..oh to be one of those women who have the flawless complexion without a scrap of anything applied).
Walk into robe & decide what to wear for the day (Melbourne weather…need to be prepared for anything)
Dress, put shoes on (thankfully only a 5 minutes decision whether it’s pants or dress, or skirt & top).
Back into en-suite for the ‘doo’ to be created (well not so much created just done & look reasonable)
Turban ripped off, grab hair-dryer and brush, squirt product & shimmy through hair (have to get some sort of body into it).
Pick up bra & knickers from floor which sometimes have looped themselves over the handle of the vanity unit (not done on purpose but I’m still amazed I have done it)
Toss said items into laundry basket (hmm & look at the insurmountable load that needs washing).
Into kitchen grab a drink and take the 100mg of aspirin (if I remember..to ward off arthritis pain).
Yell good-bye to daughter (that is if she is out of bed).
Get into car for the drive to work (wishing that it was a Saturday or a Sunday…or that I didn’t have to work at all!).
My day has begun (the routine is over till the next day that is).
Tomorrow I have a day off work.
BUT Maybe on Monday I shall put the radio on REAL LOUD and dance around the kitchen …just to change it up a bit… you know Gangnam style…maybe..
PIC COURTESY OF GOOGLE
Dance it up Gangnam
It HAS to be the week-end when you feel you are out of your routine.. last Saturday Mr S and I were walking around the Supermarket and a Van Morrison song was playing. I started to dance down the isle (not gangnam but definately not walking) An older gentleman was walking towards us..and I thought “Nup I’m not going to stop”. He had the broadest grin on his face and said to Mr S as we passed. “You’ve got a good one there”.. to which Mr S laughed and said “I know & (hand motioning that I’d had a drink or 2)..which I hadn’t , we all laughed.. so yes BRING ON THE WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!