My thoughts
collect on tissue paper
I see them bleed
without parameters
tear them up
place each one on paper
wrap in ribbon
no index required
I’ll grab the one I need
I created
let me choose
I don’t need them spiralling
out of control
I want them segmented
so there’s a chance
to breathe in between
to monitor
decipher
in my time
As each one unfolds
I’ll face them
when I’m ready
if not
the ribbon
is at hand
Copyright JMTacken 26.1.2015
K slept well, waking this morning she still felt tired and napped throughout the day.
She realised that she had bitten her tongue and now was talking with a slight lisp, this will heal.
She still does not remember the majority of what happened, but she did recognise changes as a result of her new medication (that she started last Monday). Last night when she was wanting to go home, she felt more relaxed and was able to handle the situation more calmly…taking it in her stride.
I’m tired tonight as I write, so forgive me for not answering everyone’s kind comments individually from the post last night.
I have read them all and I am so grateful for all of your support and caring, for not only K but for me also.
Thank you everyone – you are all appreciated.
Jen
x
We carry weary bodies to beds
when darkness paints our windows
The world outside is left to occupy
itself, settling to routine
Some nights, sleeping dust falls upon
our eyes, until our doorstep heralds
a new day and for others the dust was wiped away
Without consideration or acceptance
As I grabbed the pillow, trying
to draw the smell of you into my skin
it is vacant, as my sleep
this morning and the night before
copyright JMTacken 14.6.14
A breeze snake weaves
between leafy branches
I sit despondent
~ flies buzz
leaves rustle against pavers
other worlds are cold iced
sun that lightens a dreary day
does not this time
~ birds sing, dogs in distance bark
tired
tired of sympathy calling
jaded as the dry weeds in garden bed
calling to be plucked
I have no strength
today
pieces taken from me ~ bit by bit
I am not whole but crumbling
foundations breaking
exhausted
spread to thin like
butter across a slice of bread
©jmtacken Jan 2014
I must apologise for not catching up on those I follow, reading and commenting. I am trying, but if I miss out on some of your posts, I hope you will understand.
I am slightly drained of late, hopefully soon I will return. For now, I need to write
to get out what is in my head.
Saturday, took the dog we are minding for his walk, went to the movies in the afternoon with Mr. S and saw Gravity… I’ll let you decide what you think (the visuals are amazing) (Sandra was Mr. S’s eye-candy and George – well hello Mr. C – he was mine) Back home we watched some more episodes of Breaking Bad (yes I am addicted to this show) then I finally caught up with my darling friend and poet extraordinaire Miriam E on line.
It has been 2 months since we both collaborated and wrote from pictures or words given. If you haven’t seen what we get up to and you’re a tinsy bit curious, please take a wander over to words… from here to there
Tomorrow I view another Funeral Service to see how a Celebrant ‘performs’ conducts, I shall let you know my thoughts.
Short ~ sweet ~ tired ~ complete.
Hope you all had a wonderful weekend
xx
it’s L8..O gawd its 1am
clunk slow…ly the key-boAred
Daphne sits next 2 me
the flower frm the garden
not a purrrring cat or person
I dont have cats…I dont have dogs
I mind dogs tho… r u excited
(hmmm then u must get out more)
IF u r
I type & watch an ant…. little tiny
crawlin back black on an envelope
& wonder where he’s been..visiting
perhaps, a L8 nite snack – out with
the lads – rampANT
as time ticks /click – no
noise juz numerals on the monitor
fold ova ea other & my eye-lids
beckon me 2 sleep
my nonsense has got the better of
me
I look at my ph upon the desk
how do u speak in text?
eh 4 drafts sit
few lines here
there
3 words maybe 4
in the WP file
can’t think
have nothing
word avoidance
muse on my left
now sits behind
arms on each
shoulder
t
e
a
s
i
n
g
go on write
what the hEll is wrong with
yOu
stop being so pushy
it’s not happenin’
lack of – inspiration
b—k pages staring
writing dribble
yet not
sshhhhh muse
let me get some
sleep
tomorrow is another day
the ‘Course’
head is full of
other things
you can return – then
I shall return
have a holiday for
ONE day
I stare at the huntsman
long legs furry
white/brown creepy
outside my window
sitting there for 4 days now
legs outstretched
I shiver looking up at him/her
sex of a spider – who can tell
perhaps I’ll write of iT
nope…already did
I should
be in bed
I should
be cuddled
up with…
okay my
pillow
however I
am not
I sit here
at 2am
saturday morn’
when all my
virtual friends
who start to
stir have
come on line
they start
to post
and I’ve
done 3
no it’s not
the most
that I have
done in one day
but I can’t
seem to stay
away and do
I rave for
my brain is
tired
oh yes I do
so I shall retire
so forgive me
to those that read
who may expect
some form of
intelligence
for at this
juncture I can….not
no I simply do not
have ‘no-sense’
Have a wonderful morning everyone.
Life over 50
how does it change us?
what makes us different if anything?
we see the same things ……. though probably now through squinted eyes or glasses
we hear the same things … though you may have to speak up a little or slower
we smell the same things …. our nostrils haven’t let us down yet
do we feel the same?
hmmm no… our brains think we do, our bodies are less inclined
it’s our prerogative to have achy knees, hands, feet or legs, we have used them for a long time
to say what we want to though it may offend, our right to speak our mind
to be who we are without pretence
to laugh when possibly inappropriate or to cry when our insides tell us to
to enjoy ourselves like never before
we aren’t the younger generation any longer
we have had to work hard all our lives to get our possessions
we are grateful for having learnt manners and respect for others and not be cruel or bully
we worked up the chain in our jobs to obtain a higher rank
we can be who we are without apology
our mind tells us age is a number…our bodies remind us it isn’t
That’s all nothing more, nothing less
we can groan when we stand up, bend down, sit, squat or wake
we can repeat ourselves
we can forget things
make mountains out of molehills
procrastinate
we can be tired, grumpy, hysterical and delirious
we can be over the moon or wet our pants from laughing too hard
we remember parts of our childhood & perhaps some of our youth
we wonder if we had our time again would we change anything
we do secretly wish for an anti ageing cream that works
we would like our skin to be smooth as a babes bottom again
but can we have it ….no
do we accept our laugh lines on our faces…we should
for they are ‘us’ they tell our story of what we have done and where we have been without a spoken word
would we wish to go back in time and change who we are or how we are
but how would we change things, we are who we are because of what we have experienced in our lives, what we have
learnt, what we have taught, what we have been shown, where we were born, how we were brought up
to change ‘us’ would mean the changing of events, experiences,relationships, friends, colleagues and family that are
around us
we went through pain to feel the happiness
we went through sorrow to feel the joy
we went through hardship to have good fortune
and that I don’t think I want that to change
we can be many things, we have gratefully lived till now, and we will continue to do so…hopefully.
TIRED – Last night and into the wee small hours of this morning began the tossing of my body around the bed with my brain not switching off. I lay there “SLEEP” you idiot just SLEEP! How hard is it? You are tired, your eyes are closed but you know that, however you are looking from behind those closed lids and, hoping that your eye balls had another curtain you could just close shut and darkness prevail.
This went on till 4am before the alarm buzzed it’s merry tune at 6.15.
GRUMPY – Up I struggled into the shower for the morning routine of getting ready for work. Today was a day I was dreading and also happy about. I was going to resign after 2 years. The day was a complete struggle – the deed was done in the afternoon – I told my boss.
Homeward bound my stomach was still in knots. I have a new job – I shouldn’t be stressing so.
HAPPY – Finally after years of writing and presenting my Memoir to various Publishers (only to be knocked back – though I wrote with warmth, humour and from the heart they would say) I decided to hell with the vanity – self promote I say! After all I wrote my story not to get rich but to see that someone wanted to buy my story to read. Was interested in seeing what I had to say, read my words that I had painstakingly written and re written over and over again. To see my story on Amazon and Lulu (yes a self promoting plug) was truly amazing. Words cannot describe. I DID THAT!!!!
So for all those that blog/post/scribble on note pads/type madly on their keyboards – I say live your dream – put it out there whatever way you can. We are writers, we are souls that want our readers to absorb our words no matter what forum we choose. I ended the day happy.
**My Memoir The Empty Nest A Mother’s Hidden Grief is now available through Amazon and Lulu (J M Kadane)**
I thank you
Ramblings From A Mum 