Taken (A sonnet Bouts-rimes)

murder_scene_by_monkeyxtart

silently, shaking, lips taped for the

~ drive

complete silence they drove, she by his

~ side

tense frightened eyes, pierced the cold and dark

~ night

all untruths spat from alcohol, he

~ lied

his treat, her fear gave him thrills, was his

~ wage

hands bound with leather, she prayed to be

~ saved

smirking beside her, the faces she

~ made

 insurmountable thrill, gained from her

~ face

young girl, starting out her life as a

~ nurse

breathing uncontrolled they drove past the

~ church

she knew if she fought her pain would be

~ worse

remnants of her life flung out from her

~ purse

dragged out, forced on knees told not to look

~ back

whiskey breath, he sliced, had pleasure in

~ that

©jmtacken Feb 2014

 

So tempted to put boowahaa on the end…

Tony at Dverse  http://dversepoets.com  has us writing on the following – I don’t know where my brain is sitting right now..oh and Happy Valentine’s Day… 

Bouts-rimés (boo reeMAY) is French for “rhymed ends”. It is the name given to a poetic game in which a list of words that rhyme with one another is given to one or more poets who then make their own poems, all of which use the same rhyming words in the order in which they were given at the end of their lines.

The words are:  drivesidenightliedwagesavedmadefacenursechurch,worsepursebackthat

As you can see, there are fourteen words, so a fourteen line poem is what we’re after. You might want to stretch yourself and try writing a fully formed sonnet in iambic pentameter (that’s 10 syllables in a line, with the stress on the even-numbered syllables), but you don’t have to … smiles.

I stretched myself had them all in the wrong order and re-did thanks to a nudge from Brian once again – so thank you.

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56 thoughts on “Taken (A sonnet Bouts-rimes)

  1. ha. you redid that pretty quick…and it still works…
    and impressed you went sonnet style…grisly…
    sounds like she surely fell for the wrong guy
    i dunno i think i would fight…if it was all going to end
    the same any way, you know…smiles

    • I have stuff to do..paint nails.. smiles ~ yes it didn’t end well did it, so pleased I could actually get it in order though the endings are so obvious! Perhaps she didn’t think death was imminent… I’d fight too – thanks for your nudges Brian ~ smiles.

  2. ugh…when there’s whisky breath involved it’s no good thing at all… spooky pic as well… and i too had all the words wrong first… ugh… after re-reading the prompt i had to write a completely new piece…oy

  3. Whoa.. I love the structure.. kind of brutal, but I’m not one for happy endings.. the dark side and unexpected is more interesting. Nice job. I can see it all play out.. hope I can get to sleep tonight. 🙂

  4. Jen, there is depth and emotional intelligence at work here,
    i amire your courage, keep pushing past what you think you are capable of.
    it is there where we find the essence of pure creativity. a most excellent read!

  5. Wow, this is intense, Jenny, but such a stong and engaging piece of writing. It gave me shivers and left me feeling a bit sick, but that’s the right response to the kind of thing you’ve described. As others have said, if only this could be confined to fiction and didn’t happen in real life.

  6. Many of us chose the visceral road for this challenge, but yours stings like a wasp embrace; strong use of the words; enjoyed it.

  7. ugh! this was quite a read. I’d think with all the crime shows I watch I would not have been so affected, but…

    really nicely done.

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