My Beef

No I’m not talking
Sirloin
Organic
Ground
Brisket

I’m talking Shopping Centres

Can we PLEASE  have some semblance of order whilst walking people,  either stick to the left or the right and maintain it?

Can, if you are standing on the escalator PLEASE keep to one side – not smack bang in the
middle so none of us more urgent shoppers ie moi can pass you?

Can you PLEASE when walking down the strip of said shopping centre (Mall) if you don’t want to keep to one side that you at least look behind you when you drift, so you don’t step on my toes?

Can you PLEASE not text on your phone as you walk, glancing up VERY occasionally to see if you’re going to collide with me?

Can you PLEASE not have a conversation that is making you so obviously brain numb that you crawl at a snails pace and get me even more frustrated?

Can you PLEASE keep your little darling offspring under control so they don’t dart in-between or around my legs?

Can you PLEASE watch your damn trolley if you insist on carting your precious 3 articles around with you and not dig into the back of my ankles?

Deep Breath

Lastly do you rally want to know what the sperm count was that they analysed from said hand rails of escalators?

Thought not…and what on earth would possess them to analyse that anyway??

Consideration people of others, who don’t want to do the ‘duck and weave’ every time they shop!

Till next time viewers.

Credit pic zdnet.com

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24 thoughts on “My Beef

  1. Sperm on hand rails of escalators? You have to be kidding, that is just plain disgusting! And how in the hell did it get there?..Wait..don’t really want to know this..

  2. Awww….I bet that felt good. Sometimes it’s nice to let it rip, isn’t it? I agree with EVERYTHING…be aware of your surroundings. Courtesy would also be kindly accepted!

  3. Um, Mumsy, I will never again touch them hand rails even if I’m tripping. I rarely do because I am super careful, but really, eeuuww. That is just disgusting. Well said. I agree with everything, especially the changing of directions and texting, and those trolleys… ahem, I’ve felt like knocking one off every now and then.
    How I love your humor
    xox

  4. I used to teach biology and one of the most popular experiments we did was swabbing commonly used surfaces in our building and then culturing them – the worst offenders were refrigerator door handles, phones and the bottoms of purses and backpacks. I shudder every time I see women setting these big purses on their laps or people slinging their backpacks on tables. Yuck!!! Bathrooms were actually much cleaner than kitchens.

    Great post, Ramblings – you know what I think about malls!

  5. Giggles at the rambling/grumblings … some were funny … some were ewwww … but some were spot on. (The people texting whist walking …OMG …how do they not get run over when they are crossing the streets!)

    As for the handrail thing … *wonders if they did the same analysis at the men’s bathroom door handle? It had BETTER have a higher count … or that means they are uhmmm … practicing something somewhere other than the mall men’s room?

    • or not washing hands… double ewwww! Thanks hun yes I had just been to the shops that afternoon and that was the prompt – the texting drives me nuts – at least I go and sit down or stand by a wall if I need to – Wonderful to see you return btw 😉 xx

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