What irritates me # 3

December has certainly been a busy month for me – no not work – well the first few weeks of it – but I have blogged away merrily every day sometimes 7 a day.. with what you say?

 

Just stuff 🙂

This is another example – Pull up a comfy chair…

The other day I made the extremely brave move and went head first into modern technology and bought an IPhone 5. Now I am the kinda gal who was reasonably happy with her tiny button Nokia E71 even though I had to hold the phone at a distance so I could actually read the thumbnail size keys,  till the battery started dying on me.

Then it was a case of “Really why don’t you get an IPhone?” “Coz I don’t really need one that’s why”. “But there are so many apps you can have on them”. “Apps, Schnapps – why do I want an App that tells me what noises I make during my sleep, or how I’m going to look in 40 years from now – coz I won’t be here”. “Really mum…”

Ahh technology grabs us sooner or later and we are  forced cohersed into having the latest gadgetry , so yes I sucummbed. However this is not with this post is about…or is it?

Instead of walking into our the Mobile telephone dealer shop and standing around in a queue  for 20 minutes then going through the rigamarole of paperwork for an hour, I rang up the Telco. Mind you the staff of this Telco (like many others in Australia) have been transported have had their jobs made redundant and Sales and Customer Service  are moved to other countries.

I’m not naming which country, in case I offend anyone.

Anywhoo 3 hours later and 6 different departments and being hung up twice, it was ordered. They were advertising order by the 18th get it before Christmas. I ordered on the 18th and had one hell of time trying to actually receive by Christmas. “Oh no Miss Jenny the paperwork will take 5 – 10 working days”.

Not on the add.

Needless to say there was a considerable amount of fluffing around, annoyance (on my part) and frustration. This morning I received a text you phone will delivered to the local Post Office. Wonderful you say… no then she tells me I need the letter with the special bar code in order to pick that up and that will take yes 3-5 working days.

Not on the add or told to me during the ‘lengthy’ conversation.

So how does one get said phone BEFORE Christmas if I can’t pick it up until I get this letter (I was quite ummm irrate by this stage).

Hang on Miss Jenny.

Right then another 20 minutes…. could do my nails..

“Ok Miss Jenny – we will fax the letter to the Telco store, you pick that up (as if that is easy with Christmas shoppers in manic numbers) then you take that to the Post Office and you can collect”.

“Right” Miss Jenny said.

Sure enough within the hour the text came that the notification had been faxed to the Telco shop..off Mr. S and I went to collect (and had to do some more Xmas shopping of course) my idea not his.

Then onto the post office.

GIVE ME STRENGTH!!!

I walked in at 4.35pm. I walked out with phone at 5.10pm.

The idiot gentleman, I swear did not not know the computer system, 3 different forms of ID to collect said phone, which I had but he wouldn’t listen to me.

This went on…and on…and on…and on. I was losing it big time!

At 5.10 I walked out with my new technology under arm (after having to buy a cable to download all information off old phone into computer) so I could retrieve and put onto new phone (if it works that is).

I love technology…. I love Christmas……

Photo Credit http://assets.ccartoday.com

 

 

Dr Who and the Tardis

Courtesy Google & bagsmagazine.com

See my every day hand bag is this size    (see left)

Courtesy Google & indimart.com

But I really should have this….Yes Ladies the old conundrum of toting (pardon the pun) around a bag far larger than my needs require. For the amount of rubbish that I accumulate in having a bag of this size gives me nothing but complete exasperation on a daily basis. Why do I stuff everything bar the kitchen sink in there? What can I never find when wanting it? For me it’s my little mobile phone.

“Your bag is ringing” they would say.

“Oh yes, well no use trying to retrieve as it will have stopped by the time I actually find the bloody thing!”  There are pieces of paper, tissues used and new. There are eye liner pencils and lipsticks that have not so conveniently fallen from the make-up bag and roll around enjoying their freedom. There is the make up bag. The pens (some work some don’t). There’s old pay slips, sun glasses, notes with directions on, shopping lists, paperclips..how did they get in there? Rubber bands. Loose change.  There is FRUSTRATION !!! I carry this around daily (yes I do have other bags) but I like the look of this (enter stubbornness) one the most (not as in the picture girls) and for some unexplained reason perhaps only to us females (or just me) I continue to use it, even though I should be booking a Chiropractic visit weekly for putting my neck out under the weight.

“So tell me what on earth are you lifting to do this”? “Just a hand bag”

Searching, scrummaging,fossicking is a daily occurrence for me and said bag . Shall I stop using it ..no..shall I try  emptying it more often to make life easier for myself..again possibly no.

Now I know why men make such a fuss over man bags..not because they don’t want to be seen getting in touch with their feminine side but because they simply don’t want to have the drama involved in digging their way around, through inside pockets, outside zips and inside folds to find their mobile phones!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TARDIS   = TARDIS stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. The Tardis is bigger on the inside using transcendental dimensions.

Ladies & Gentlemen I rest my case.

Humour for the Over-50’s….oh so true..

FYI – I am now using the multi file uploader( in place of the browser uploader) to download & upload from my computer and not download straight into Media Library as I was. I have redone my posts again with the photos this way…Everyone pray that they keep this time…plaaaaease!    Oh and if anyone thinks I’m still doing it wrong please let me know as it’s driving me to despair!

 

Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless)



Read it all the way through! It’s a good laugh! AND really quite true!!



A good laugh for people in the over 50 group !!! 

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.



That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting World.

 My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.



The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it’s red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.



I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, “Re-calc-u-lating.” You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship..
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.



To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me.

They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden “Paper or Plastic?” every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, “Paper or Plastic?” I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.” Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do fart a lot.” 

P.S. I know some of you are not over 50. I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are. 

Senior citizens don’t need anymore gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.

 

Courtesy of Google

The Dag’s Dictionary – A little bit of word humour

Courtesy of Author Richard Glover

Just a few words that should exist…but don’t

Avoiddance – The process of stepping sharply to the left & then the left again & then back down the street, when you want to avoid someone at the shops

Bellwilderment – The moment of communal panic when a mobile phone rings & everyone assumes it’s theirs

Brietentious – Descriptive of a person who shows off about cheese

Cadamite – A woman whose always attracted to the worst bloke in the room

Catasonic – The speed at which a cat moves after you tread on it’s tail

Cellulights – The especially harsh lights found in changing rooms designed to prove you must cover your body at all times

Confidont – A friend who blurts all your secrets

Dudmentia – A woman’s ability to forget how rotten all her past boyfriends turned out to be, so as to be able to fall in love with the next

Eespondent – The disappointment that follows when you discover all 20 emails have the subject line “Do you want a bigger Penis”?

Feng Shooey – The ancient male practice of abandoning at least one pair of shoes in every room in the house, in order to maximise his own energy flow

Fridgebit – Food that contains no calories by virtue of being eaten straight from the fridge, while standing with the door of the fridge still open and the light spilling out

Lollycoddle – During a long drive, to mollify children in the back seat of a car by throwing them regular supplies of junk food

Shyatus – The painful gap in conversation at a dinner party before the wine’s kicked in

Slobstacle – A person who just sits there as you try and sweep or vacuum around their feet

Tanti-climax – The bit when the toddler throws themselves face forward in the supermarket floor & holds their breath

Verboaster – A person who always uses a complicated & pretentious word when a simple one will suffice

and finally….

Weenertia – The moment in the morning when you can’t get out of bed, even though you urgently need a wee