remember how I love you (Prose)

when your eyes close for the last time
you know how much I love you?
will you see the family gathered
singing Czech and German songs

~ the songs you love?
will you hear my words ~ ‘love you always’
as I kiss your forehead tenderly
before closing your front door?

will you know your time has come
wanting those you love to hold your hand
to tell you please don’t go?
for we are just as frightened losing you
as you are of losing us

I want to ~ I want to not let a day or night go by
before you know
but this asks the impossible
as I cannot be there, live in your house, be by your side
as much as I wish ~ I wish

I have guilt when I can’t be ~
guilt that I am not near you
constantly
sleepless nights, dreams ~ nay nightmares
tears shed in daylight and in darkness

if I receive a call saying you passed
and I was not there by your side
holding your hand
telling you not to be afraid
how can I face myself?

do you welcome death?
have you had enough of this life
long to see the next?
are you torn with staying with those you love
and the need to escape
to stop your suffering?

how each minute of the day goes passed
when I do not think of anything else
than to be with you, when your time comes
not be out shopping or doing chores
but hugging you ~ saying it’s ok you can sleep now

we all must face this ~ to lose those whom we love
our hearts not scraped, but torn in two
will life flash before your eyes?
when you close them for the final time?
will you know how much I love you?

it’s too hard to comprehend
the time that you won’t be here
the time I can’t hug you close, help you ~ be near
the time that I no longer say ‘love you always’
and kiss you tenderly
but know this ~ remember this ~ I do and always will

©jmtacken Jan 2014

Tell those you love that you love them. Not tomorrow or the next but now. Show them that you do, hug them, kiss them, hold their hand. Tell them you will miss them. Tell them how much they mean to you and how much they are loved and why you are grateful they are who they are…for none of us know when the time may come when we unable to do any of this…

Just thinking tonight of what is to be…and though it may not be for some time (I can only hope) … we need to remember how life is so precious, how those we love aren’t always told enough. They are us, we are them… show them that you love them.

Breath – (Prose from 3 words) with voice

breath, whisper, dream –  these 3 words have come from Beck at becwillmylife – thank you Beck – I hope you enjoy.My first attempt at sound recording and yes I was nervous.

 

I dream of the day we first hugged, my arms
around you holding tight; never letting go
for a million years

Oh how I loved you THIS much

I remember the flower that you picked
a yellow daisy from the ground
I loved you as wide as my arms could spread
those days seem so long ago, through childhood
and adult years;  you kept me safe
I hung on every word you said
back when we were innocent

but

innocence does not stay around
captured moments as a photograph
replaced with pain, lies and distrust
and as I sit amongst the daisies
remembering what we had

I whisper in one breath
don’t ever come near me

again

after the day – prose from Port Douglas

no unsettling macabre tales
as deep within these grey cells
lies beauty – a captured picture
not through a lens
but taken through my eyes

gone the wintry blustery grey
the dark as dungeons, the shutters
of my eyes the camera holding
what I see and feel and smell

for it’s me that takes the candid
shots, though years may travel on
if I never see the photo printed –
in my mind I’ll see it clear, I’ll
remember what it looked like what
was captured here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Calling it a night though only 8:30pm…must be all the fresh air 🙂 We had a lovely tea. Pasta Carbonara for Mr. S and I have a yummy Surf and Turf (thick med-rare steak with garlic cream sauce topped with king prawns, salad and chips) oh and a Mojito …can I tell you how lovely that was… 🙂 So it’s over and out from me for another night (and here I was thinking I wouldn’t blog whilst away…yeah right Mumsy) I figure if I do this daily I won’t have so much to catch up on when I get back. 🙂 xx

What will they say when I’m gone

What shall be written
when I pass from this earth?
what words etched in stone
‘bove the place where I’ll rest?

Who shall write them
who shall decide?
the day when my time comes
the day that I die

Will I be remembered
for selfless love?
will I be known for
making you laugh?

Will I be missed
for the help that I gave?
will I be content
as I sleep in my grave?

Will family cry
and miss who I was?
will friends shed a
tear.. simply because?

Will rain fall and hit
the casket that lowers?
or will the sun shine
touch the wood and the flowers?

Tears weeped of sadness
the loss of a soul
pain in the hearts
just remember me well

I did all I could in the
life that I led
I was a woman, a wife
a mother and yet..

I wish tears of happiness
to flow down your cheeks
tears that I ‘did right’
did all that I could

My life will miss yours
I’ll remember your voice
the happiness shared
don’t grieve but rejoice

Set the butterfly free
watch it wing to the skies
yes I’ll truly miss you
but I’ve said my goodbyes

Some moments not proud of
many others that were
please smile as you lower me
this is what I’d prefer